Can't You Get Along With Anyone? A Writer's Memoir

Can’t You Get Along With Anyone? A Writer’s Memoir, and a Tale of a Lost Surfer’s Paradise is my third book, and with its very recent (and very limited) initial publication (in the UK) I  see a commonality in what goes on in my head upon a book of mine seeing the light of print.

What happens is that a dose of reality sets in: People are now going to read the fucking thing.

All sorts of squirmy self-doubts and worries arise…

I especially worried about this new book.

But then something wonderful happened. A few days after the 1,600 pre-ordered books were shipped I started getting emails from readers.

i've been not able to put it down, or stop thinking about it after i have put it down...

Some readers get specific:

…In fact at 2AM this morning right there at the bottom of page 378 you brought me to tears.

Some ask me for help during the read:

I am on page 325 and cannot force myself to read "The Horror" that will surely transpire on page 326!!!... Tell me something, anything, to make me read on....Give me a light at the end of the "Fucking Tunnel"....

Some come up with allusions that knock me out:

As I was reading your words, the one singular thought that came to mind wasn’t words....it was a sound. The sound of a WWII Stuka in full dive mode.

Some tell me where they were while reading and I worry about them:

When I read that page in Can't You Get Along With Anyone? it was 0100 and I was in my bunk in the outskirts of Baghdad, Iraq.  I was by myself and laughing my ass off.

Some get very personal, cut very close to the bone, and shake me up a bit with anecdotes from their lives:

I wanted nothing to do with my beautiful blond ex-wife and stayed high and on the couch the whole time, and even left early to get back to my lying, blacking out, sex oozing slut.

Some make me laugh, like the female reader who wrote:

In the words of David Cassidy...."I Think I Love You!"

And some say things that make me believe what I went through was maybe worth it:

So your book made me to think things over. Maybe I will even become a better person as a consequence of reading your book. This IS in fact the best book I ever read.

Any writer who says this sort of thing is unimportant, that he writes for himself and doesn’t care what readers think of his book is a fool or a liar, or both.

But why am I telling you this? Two reasons. My book is a writer’s memoir; what I go through in the writing process is dealt with in the book. So I figured that those of you who have read it might be interested in the aftermath of publication.

And those of you who have not read my book: I’m trying to persuade you to do so, to read it. (Odds are you’ll have to buy it to read it. So yes, I want you to buy it.)

I’ve excerpted blurbs from the 130 plus reviews that have come in as of October 2, 2006, a mere two weeks after limited release. No, I don’t expect you to read them all, but if you’ve read my book you might peruse a few, see if you had a similar reaction. (The one sort of negative review I got is reproduced in its entirety near the bottom of this page.)

Thank you to all who have written. Thank you for your encouragement (which I need), but mainly thank you for your time and for your attention in reading my book.

Here we go (if you scroll around you’ll see I didn’t stick the most enthusiastic up front):

......I can't put the fucking thing down.... hands down the most enjoyable book I have ever read......

 

When I take a break there is a slightly dizzy phase shift as I go from where I have been to where I am now -- this happens with your book.

 

Wow. I haven't had a marathon reading like that since I read Henry 

Miller's Rosy Crucifixion trilogy a decade ago.

 

Anyway, thanks for your blood.

 

just finished, still shaking, can't reply more than this at this time. hasta

 

I wish it didn't end, I could live the rest of my life reading about what your take is on the world…

It exceeded every measure of what I expected, and the broad social Implications are astounding.

 

 

Thanks for a book I couldn't put down (and now 8 hours after having finished it... feel like I have whiplash, perhaps in the next printing you should extol the virtues of proper reading posture... I feel like I was run over by a bus).

 

Like Zero, this book leaves me haunted.  It will pass, but its that feeling that makes me grow as a person by having read them.  Not all books have that effect for sure.  

 

hilarious LOL

better than TV/film watching

 

I'm still reading this fucking masterpiece to find out where you’re going.

 

…your book has changed my life. Simple as that. 

 

I love to read and usually my mind wanders while I'm reading, even during great books, for some reason this book has me totally focused when I'm reading it, its almost like I'm more alert or something while reading it and I can't figure out why. 

 

I'm about halfway through and it's turning into a "can't put the book down" kind of read!! 

 

You've grown as a writer and for that alone, I am grateful.  

 

…totally involving, I laughed, I cringed and I yelled at the book (you) several times. 

 

…can barely manage to pull myself away from it to work.

 

Your book has really hit a nerve in me…

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Jesus.
What a book…. Another Masterpiece.

 

All I have to say is Bravo...if it's true, the literary equivalent of Noll's middle finger last wave at makaha. 

 

Every ten pages I get on the phone to tell anyone who will listen what fucking riot the new book is.

 

...my mate is sick of listening to me talk about the book (although i used her credit card to buy it), and i was almost ousted from my local pub for ranting to my buddies…

 

I really really enjoyed it.

 

BRAVO ! a SPECIAL Narrative.

 

Wow, all I can say is wow. I finished today and still....wow…

 

Fucking really good book Allen.

 

On Page 108 you told me something I already knew without knowing that I did. A good book is something that you read, and want to read again to hear the words in your mind.

 

I am going to end by simply saying "thank you ".

 

I'm about half way through and can't wait to pick it up again.

 

Thank you again for writing this book.  Damn it's good.

 

Seriously, I have a job and family and wish I could chuck everything until I'm finished with the book. 

 

As I read, sometimes I begin to think that you are utterly crazy…But then, as I continue to think and read, I realize, through self-reflection(!), that I am just the same. I love it.

 

Your witty style and easy reading did not disappoint... Thank you!!!

 

…In fact at 2AM this morning right there at the bottom of page 378 you brought me to tears.

 

”I’m your NUMBER ONE FAN!!!!!”

 

"Can't You Get Along With Anyone"  is one that I read at night until I can't keep my eyes open, and then pick up the minute my eyes open in the morning (or afternoon, whenever I wake up). 

 

…enjoying this new, even more free mode of expression your writing has evolved into.

 

Thanks for continuing to create outstanding prose in a time where most writers only relay shit, errors and more shit. 

 

Man oh man have you seen some stuff and been through some shit. 

 

I started it yesterday, read till about 1am, couldn't put it down.

 

I just finished the book.  I literally could not stop reading it all day today. 

 

Hola! Love the new book. Finished it in two days, and now I am re-reading the parts that had my jaw hitting the floor in disbelief.

 

Am enjoying the new book and laughing about how much fun you must have had broiling your old editor.

 

It keeps getting better the more I read.

 

Thank you for not being afraid of being real and honest...doesn't happen much....

 

Thanks for all the insight and enjoyment, even if at your expense. I'm proud of you.

… (I) have to say that something about your books make me want to just keep reading and reading.

 

a handful of chapters into it, and so far it's nothing short of outstanding. :)

 

I just finished reading your new book and what can I say but, WOW !!!

 

You fucker, I think I blew a job interview today because I was up so late last night reading your damn book…

 

Really enjoy your stuff & especially the way the words flow. 

 

With all the blood you must have shed writing this one is there going to be anything left for another?

 

You are a fucking madman and I love it.  No one and I do mean no one, has your mix of obvert self confidence, heightened awareness and bold bravado.

 

I feel bad saying that I enjoyed the book, in that it means in some ways i am taking enjoyment from all that bad shit that you have had to go through. I would rather your book had been shit and that you have not had go through the mouth of madness.

 

Just finished the book in two days. Great shit!

 

I'm still shaking my head in amazement - not slowly as in "no way, man...", but vigorously - as in trying to get my own sense of reality back. Holy shit...I need a surf.

 

My buddy in LA is about half way through the book and is really stoked about it.  Has nothing but good things to say so far.

 

I have an 8-month-old (teething) son… sleep is a rather precious commodity in my world, & I have only stopped short of prying my eyes open with toothpicks to finish this damn book!

Got the book, I'm in Philly.  Can't put it down! 

 

ok, I am about half way through "can't you get along with anyone," and to tell you the truth I can't put it down.

 

So, thank you for the book and for starting off my winter reading schedule with a bang. 

 

I am about 11 chapters in and absolutely love the book. 

 

I really loved the book and am thoroughly impressed.

 

I received the book here in Washington (NW) 4 days ago… I've been reading it ever since, every spare minute. 

 

You're a brave (if slightly warped) mf and totally have my respect.

 

Allan, you are the Real Thing. 

 

I couldnt put the f'ing thing* down! My porn and boat mags r piling up in my bathroom........

 

it's probably late where you are, and seeing as your book as kept me up late three nights in a row... well, you get the picture. 

 

The chapters are like potato chips- I just kept devouring them until, like the Pringles can, I just had to put them away and leave the room so I could get some sleep for my date with the dawn patrol.  

 

"Can't Get Along" is a brave piece of work - you really hung your assout there. 

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I made the egregious mistake of opening the innocuous  little package from Humdrumming I recieved today a few hours before I planned on going to bed. The book has been glued to my hands since.

 

I admit that I feel strongly that you are a sign of life. 

 

I'm going to dive back into the book now and see what else she put you through…

 

Alan, I apologize for not contacting you sooner after completing your work, but I was in "after-reader's throes"…

 

I just finished reading your book. ... Holy shit!  I couldn't put it down. 

 

......my wife is totally sick of me telling her about your book and what you were going through...your virtuoso sense of humor...

 

...but, on the other hand [clever lad that you are], I couldn’t put this one down, either...

 

I kept giving you advice along the way about how to handle this and that, and laughed a lot, was pissed off a lot and was scared for you a bit too.

 

over half way through your book...laughing my ass off.

 

Just finished CYGAWA and wanted to write you a short note saying how much I enjoyed it and how much some of the themes of the book resonate with stuff I have been thinking about.

 

I’m about finished with your new book. It’s a hoot.

 

I have read your book nearly every day since receiving it.  Man, that's like 3 or 4 days in a row of book reading! 

 

You're expressing thoughts and experiences that, (for me at least) many of us have had and have not been able to express. 

 

It was an amazing read, one that put my studies in jeopardy --I laughed out loud, and thought I was going to be sick when I read about the airport scene.

 

It's cool, clever and so damn funny! It's also healing my anger, turning it into humour! I'm loving it. I think it's genius and hope it does well.

 

You are one hell of a writer, and I know this might be premature but I can not wait for you to follow up with another master piece.

 

The book rocked !  I couldn't put it down ! Period. I was entranced.

 

I love it. You delivered. Thank you.

 

Just through the first 13 chapters and I almost cant put it down. Great stuff..

 

Yep, we are among those who are sucked in to your book. 

 

I love the story about your editor, and the piece about Clinton and Sudan was hillarious, but not without some sadness as well.

 

I finished it on Friday and i have to say that it is one brilliant piece of work.  Balls. That is what it takes to write shit

like that and still go to print with it. 

 

I guess I just want to say thank you. For your intelligence, politics, relentlessness, insanity, writing.... I'm a happier, well no maybe... better, well no maybe... more sane person having read your latest book.

 

Gotta say, you're a complete and total nutjob. but the fact that I could not put down your nutty book might say something about me being something of a nutjob myself.

 

i started reading your book and am loving it. you may be a jerk off, but you're a terrific jerk off.

 

i'm a third of the way through your book, no wonder your forehead is bleeding.

 

I-FUCKING-LOVE-YOUR-BOOK!!!

 

I actually thought more about this book in the last couple of days than of pussy, beer, and surfing combined.

 

OK< finished the thing----at first i wasn't THAT into it----but you SuCKED me IN.......

 

.....couldn't pull myself away from it...kinda like ....reading...a train wreck.....

 

This is from an Edgar Award-winning author:

 

I guess we'll have to buy another copy so we each have one. Coming from a book crazed family that's high praise indeed.  In fact there is only one other book in our house (we have about 2,500 volumes)that there is two copies of: The Old Man and the Boy by Robert Rourak.  So a big Bravo Zulu guy, ya done good.

 

Was in the early stages of a book by Ian McEwan (one of the best writers alive) and so  planned to just dip into yours to get the flavor. Well I haven't returned to Ian yet; too busy cringing, fuming and laughing my way through the last few years of your life.

 

Just finished reading the book(XXX of 1418)...almost done in a one day Marathon session.

 

Every time I finish a chapter I can't help myself from starting the next one.  I've just got to see what happens next. 

 

There are passages that I had to read over and over, they are so good.

I force myself to look across the room at the book… you do have me talking to it, the book that is.

 

Best read since in search of captain zero. Great job Allan!!    

 

 

You have put a smile in my mental health-not-feeling-so-good day.

 

Well, eight hours later at 3am, I fell asleep, so put me in the couldn't put it down category.

 

But, your now read book, sitting on my coffee table makes me feel like Getting back into reading, thanks for that !

 

You did it again; I couldn’t put the damn thing down.

 

The way it worked was every time I started to send off an e-mail I thought "Hey! This could take and hour or more. I could be reading the book!" 

 

#

Okay. Those are blurbs from the 130 plus reader reviews so far (up to October 2, 2006).

Click here for an excerpt from the book explaining what you as a reader mean to me.

Getting the Book:
Subscribe to my newsletter for news on when the book will be available, and the continuing drama of why so many people are trying to block its publication. You can also email me (acwdownsouth@yahoo.com) and I'll inform you personally when the book is in print again.... until then... READ SOME REVIEWS

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Hold on. The sort of negative review. Here it is in its full-blown glory, minus some giveaways as to events in the book, which I don’t want to be spilled:

Mr. Weisbecker:
            Thanks.  I am now the proud owner of a huge crock of shit: turkeyshit even.  There are many symmetries in your work.  My favourite symmetry is how the structure of the book so closely parallels your description of the sawmills wave - or at least how my mind felt it.  I dropped in with a rush of energy, rode smoothly, mostly with a smile on my face (Parts 1-4, 1 / 2 Part 5).  I had felt there was a huge climax coming, but the thing got quite flaccid (other half of part 5, part 6).  It’s morbid, but finding out that you’re not dying or already dead was sort of a let down (cool your still with us though*).  So I turned back into it, not giving up, and my efforts were met with a great release, and some revelations.  Now I’m paddling back out to catch some more waves via your website.  Yes, big Mo sat right down with me, and in a way, sort of semi-raped me. 

           I must comment on some of your own PM…  (a line deleted).. The stratagem, know your enemy, comes to mind.  One of your lies by omission, which is a general form of denial:  The Stanford physicist, Stephon A., has a piled higher and deeper just like the HUYA psycho-docs.  I myself have on of these Piled higher and deepers.  I prefer to call it a fud (rhymes with could).  My pile of shit is in Biochemistry.  The thing about true science by those who actually use the scientific method (not psycho-docs) is that we fess-up to not knowing anything about anything.  No matter how many papers we publish or explanations we give, we really don’t know how the fuck anything works.  But, this is the beauty of life: if it were predictable, it simply would seize to exist.  However, if you ever feel the need to investigate some fishy science, just follow the money, really. 

            I have been with you via the DSPs since I finished reading Zero.  I read the book shortly after its publication, so that’s a long time.  I even sent a lap-top down to paradise: para escualos de Pavonas.  I even have every single one of those DSPs archived, why, I don’t know. 

Keep on writing.  Sure beats creating peace or some shit.
(his name)

PS:    Seriously, you are quite insane.  Did you think knowing what you knew before you went and built your home in paradise that you wouldn’t be driven out, if not killed, on short order? (A sentence deleted)

I’ve attached two photos:  #1 shows were the book originally would have been after big MO got done with me.  #2 shows where I put the fucker after. 

(A line deleted)

#

The above reader may not have liked my book (I’m not sure about this), but it sure as hell elicited a reaction, pushed some buttons, no? (At least he wasn’t bored -- boring readers is my greatest fear.)

The following is such a classic that at the end I review the review.

Allan,

gotta be honest amigote.....IT FUCKIN' SUCKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  with all due respecto.

.....just got back from Jersey......went to visit the family and your new book was waiting for me when I got home.

.......I can't put the fucking thing down....it is sucking all my attention.....like an interstellar big black ho le.......I should be catching up on work, sleep, pokin my wife ,etc. ( pms to blame on that...tu es indemnified )   after dinner yesterday......I cracked it open and have been up all night reading the damn thing till now.  I am only half way through it cause I keep getting caught up in all your "loopy" loop tangents........goooooogling, etc.  I am only half way through it.....and have to take a break now......I blew off the work day today....it's all your fault.

hands down the most enjoyable book I have ever read......i don't give a shit if you just wrote blah blah blah for the last half of the book.........which I hope you didn't.......

the wife yelled at me and violently threw something too around 4 a.m. today telling me to go in the other room ( I think it was the remote she threw cause earlier today my assistance was needed when she declared an A.P.B.) ....anyway her early morning tirade happened cause I was shaking the bed when I was crackin' up.....I sincerely tried to silence my chuckling......but, did not take into account the moving bed thing......my dogs even growled at me a couple times....cause I kept leaving the room to access my computer......and when I came back the floor has a creak.....that they hate......and I keep forgetting about......your fault too.....

I know I should have waited to send you my comments.......you know read the whole book and such.....

.......... I think if I eat something I could complete the marathon read.  ........F you and your tangents man...........I wish I had this on the plane trip...........but, then I couldn't check the web.........here comes da wife...........un momento

....hasta.......I'm going back in..........the wife just said she'll make me some dibs for me....coffee too.....what a woman.......( she just told me she got her period......yeah.......that means she's back......amazing how they can instantly change.......when the flow starts to go...........fuck I rhyming now)

later.............brian

 

That’s what I call a review.

You gotta love the dogs growling at him image (not once but a couple times):

......and when I came back the floor has a creak.....that they hate......

I love it that Brian has dogs, plural, and that they both, they all [how many does he have?] got as pissed off as his wife and ganged up on him.

But here’s my favorite part:

.........here comes da wife...........un momento

....hasta.......I'm going back in..........

That Brian says more about his married life (and in a Homer Simpson-esque way, about everyone’s married life) than my fucking book bothers me not a bit.

If, say, Christopher Lehman-whatever of that lying rag (“All the news that fits we print”) had Brian’s descriptive pizzazz I might take him seriously. (A question: how can you take seriously a reviewer with a hyphen in his name?)

So the above is my review of Brian’s review.

Again:

Getting the Book:
Subscribe to my newsletter for news on when the book will be available, and the continuing drama of why so many people are trying to block its publication. You can also email me (acwdownsouth@yahoo.com) and I'll inform you personally when the book is in print again.... until then... READ SOME REVIEWS

Click here to subscribe to my site newsletter: My thoughts on Life in Paradise, the Writing Life, World Affairs, lotsa stuff. No pop ups, no spamming, and it’s free.

Click here to go to the Home Page. Move your cursor sloooowly around the montage to bring up short passages from the book – see a bit about what all the fuss is about.

Click here to contact me.

Click here to go to all the reviews so far, in their entirety. [PDF document]