Can't You Get Along With Anyone? A Writer's Memoir

The following FAQs were written with Lisa's help in the fall of 2003.  If you're already read Can't You Get Along With Anyone? and you don't see any irony in the answers to these FAQs, then you should shut down your computer now-- it's not going to work out between us:

What's it like there?
It’s like living at the end of the road in Central America, backed up against virgin jungle, in front of a world class wave.

Asking this question implies you haven’t looked at my site – which is dumb, and a bit rude, frankly, since I’ve put so much effort into it, and since it answers the question without my having to individually answer emails on my slooooow internet connection. You can also subscribe to my Down South Perspective, which, between rants, gives slices of our life.

Hey: Don’t write asking what it’s like down here!

What do you do all day?
Here you make (or remake) your own life and your own fun. The end of the road is for independent, resourceful types. If you don’t enjoy surfing, horseback riding, fishing, gardening, painting, yoga, learning Spanish, playing guitar, meeting new people, dinner with friends, or reading in the hammock, then this isn’t your kind of place. Come to think of it, you probably won’t be happy anywhere.

Is there any nightlife?
Pavones’ nightlife is picking up. The infamous Cantina might be the only watering hole in the world where you can enjoy a perfect sunset view and watch surfers ride a wave right past you. Doña Dora’s, Maureen’s, La Puesta del Sol and Isabelle y Giselle (at the Cantina) all serve three meals a day, and Daniel serves up fresh pasta at night. These restaurants are good. Last night Lisa and I had dinner at La Puesta del Sol, a café set on the edge of the river mouth. Ronald made us delicious spaghetti with river shrimp. Even Lisa (with her demanding Italian heritage) said it was prepared perfectly.

During the high season we watch videos of the day’s surf session on the giant screen at La Manta Club. Further south, the newly renovated La Piña bar and restaurant is a fun spot between the jungle and the ocean for dancing, volleyball and, yes, karaoke. Hey, if you can’t sing karaoke in the jungle in Central America…

Can I relocate to Costa Rica and find work?
The government’s general attitude is: if you provide jobs, bueno, if you take a job, no bueno. Bear in mind that the going wage in Pavones is from four hundred colones to fifteen hundred colones an hour, or about US$1.00 to $4.00.

For a foreign citizen to be employed in Costa Rica, you need to prove that no Costa Rican could do your job. You can certainly open your own business – lodging, restaurant, retail, or construction – one that provides jobs. You’ll find a bunch of businesses in Pavones that are successfully owned by non-Costa Ricans. The key is to find the right niche, and in this vibrant area, new niches are bound to open up.

What is the cost of living?
Two people can live very comfortably here on less than a thousand dollars a month. Food and vehicles are the biggest expenses. If you like more luxuries and travel, double that budget. It’s hard to be opulent you’d be pressed to spend more than $15 on dinner for two in Pavones. If you can live a simple life, the cost of living can be very low, you can even be self-sufficient as a farmer.

Are there a lot of Americans in Pavones?
Depends what you men by a lot. Pavones is still authentic Costa Rican in the sense that the locals don’t speak English, and the American, European and Middle eastern expats are a very small minority. There are not a whole lot of Americans, but you’ll notice them more because you’ll hear the familiar tongue.

Is Pavones safe?
Pavones is one of the safest places in Costa Rica (except for me!). The residents of Pavones recognize that visitors are the life-blood of their town and they generally want to help and watch out for you. That said, don’t tempt fate or poorer souls by leaving valuables exposed or unlocked. Don’t leave flip flops on the beach. I don’t know why, but for some reason the kids here think your three dollar flip flops are better than their three dollar flip flops.

(Time Travel Footnote: having said the above, if I go back there I'll be killed).

Frommers writes that it’s dangerous to buy land in Pavones...
Frommers is full of shit. The land wars here are over, the wild west stories are now part of Pavones’ colorful past. Pavones is now…civilized. Properties are titled.

Why live in Pavones as opposed to…someplace else?
Pavones is mellower than the Caribbean, unspoiled like the northern Pacific coast, safer than Nicaragua, and cleaner than Panama. When you get here, you will know if this place is for you – or not.

Can foreigners own property?
Yes, foreigners can own titled land free and clear. No strings attached.

Can foreigners own beachfront property?
No. The Costa Rican government, in all their wisdom, do not want their coasts bought up by foreigners, or even by Costa Ricans. One doesn’t own beachfront property, one leases it under a contract from the government.

Costa Ricans can be awarded concessions to lease beach front property for twenty years. If you’d like a “beach lease” or “concession”, typically your Costa Rican lawyer will control the corporation that is awarded the contract. These concessions can be transferred, i.e. sold, to other corporations. Concessions are usually awarded for 20 years and, if all goes well, continually renewed. Be prepared for a lot of paperwork.

What about a mortgage?
Yes, can get a mortgage and a construction loan, however you can’t buy a house for twenty percent down in Pavones. Land owners here don’t sell property “subject to financing.” A bank will grant you a construction loan once you own the land free and clear. When the house is completed, then you can get a mortgage on 60% of the value of the house, which will be assessed under the market price. In other words, you can secure an equity loan on property you already own, but you can’t use debt to buy property. All transactions are for cash.

How much does land cost?
Consider this a rough guide. Typically $10 to $50 per square meter for titled land that’s close to the beach in a desireable location. Titled land, up in the hills with maybe no electricity, about $4 per square meter. Some prime spots are up to $100 per meter.

Typical lot sizes are _, 1, 2 or 3 hectares (a hectare is 10,000 square meters, 2.47 acres).

Prices for beach lease concessions are all over the map, and the pickings are few and far between. The municipality frowns on speculative sales of beach leases. If you buy one, you might have to buckle down for years of paperwork and legal wrangling, but it’s worth it for the right type of person.

Why can’t I get an oceanfront lot for $20,000?
A common mistake Americans make is to think that land in Costa Rica must be cheap. It’s a poor country, right? People should be thrilled to fork over their home for twenty grand.

Wrong. Costa Rica is poor only relative to US consumerist standards. By Latin American standards, this is a rich and educated country. And any place that qualifies as your paradise…on the ocean, near a great surf break or fishing ground…won’t go for a song. On top of that, you only want land that has title, and much of the land in the southern zone is either not for sale or not titled. Fortunately, prices here are still reasonable because it’s harder to get here. That will change one day, with a paved road and a closer airport, but that hasn’t happened just yet.

How do land prices in Pavones compare to other parts of Costa Rica?
This southern pacific coast is still a fraction of the cost of the northern coast. Near Manuel Antonio, I’ve heard that realtors ask for up to $180 per square meter. Across the Golfe in Matapalo, land starts at $25 a square meter. Heading east to the Caribbean, prices are typically lower. Up north in Tamarindo the cost of a condominium near the beach, including monthly maintenance fee is…well…who really cares?

What has been the trend in prices?
Nothing but up. In the last ten years, we’ve seen a steady rise in per meter prices. Fortunately for buyers, not like the craziness I’ve seen in, say, my hometown of Montauk, where trailer park homes now sell for $150,000. I wish I was kidding. Here, there has been a nice steady upward climb, and people who have owned land through the years are pleased with their investment.

Is land in Pavones a good investment?
In my opinion, yes, especially compared to the stock market or savings accounts. I think this area is the last great undiscovered part of Costa Rica, and while I don’t think it’ll ever be as built up as Tamarindo or Quepos, the demand for land here is always one step ahead of supply. Landowners here have done very well financially. If you buy land as an investment here, we can help with the legal and management aspects and help you sell it down the line if you’d like to cash out.

Do I need a lawyer to purchase property?
Absolutely positively. Here’s the name of a good lawyer: Francisco Mora in San Jose, telephone 011-506-305-4623. He’s my lawyer at his family’s firm, and his father wrote the country’s banking laws. Here’s another good laywer I use: Hazel Desanti Salas in Golfito, telephone 011-506-775-0298. Both are fluent in English. Want to find your own? You hear of a guy Maurizio, run the other way.

Should I worry about squatters taking over my land?
No, not if you buy titled property. If you buy property without doing your legal homework, and someone else owns it, you will have problems. The days of the squatter problem are pretty much over. That said, we’re building a casita for our caretaker so he can keep a close eye on our house, the orchard, and the property we own that’s listed on this site.

How much would it cost to build a house?
You can spend what you want, from $2,000 in materials for a do-it-yourself ranchita to $200,000 for a luxury norte-style gringo dream. There is a combination of sizes, simplicity/complexity, materials and craftsmanship to suit any budget.

If you want a norte style house with all the amenities, figure on $30 a square foot, so a very deluxe house might cost $100,000 to $150,000. Want a simpler tropical home? Spend $10+ a square foot. A middle of the road house could set you back fifty grand.

Lisa says it’s gauche to tell you this, but my house cost $100,000 to construct. (It’s easily worth well over $200,000 now – but I ain’t sellin’.) A local carpenter did all the contracting, and it’s beautiful and well worth every penny. Building a house here is like building a house anywhere, you have to stay on top of your contractor.

How are homes constructed?
Typical construction is cement block with a zinc roof on a slab foundation, and this style is used for homes that are simple or stylish. (My house is this style)

Other homes are of wood on pier foundations, some have intricate palm roofs, some are entirely open-air. You can build anything you can imagine.

How are the local schools?
Not up to your standards. If you have school aged children, you’ll probably send them to the local school so they can meet friends and learn Spanish. When the kids come home at noon you’ll start with your natural home schooling program, or send them to one of the two tutors that live here.

Is there healthcare?
Yes, good healthcare is available within driving distance, in the town of Comte. For periodic doctors visits and dental work, most people drive or take the bus to one of the larger towns it’s part of the routine of living here. For major medical problems, the best hospitals are in San José and David, Panama.

As a foreigner, how long am I allowed to stay in Costa Rica?... Read more»
When you arrive you will be here on a three-month tourist visa, which can be renewed by exiting the country for three days a weekend in Panama, for instance.

If you’d like to stay permanently then apply for residency. If you are a pensioner with a guaranteed income of $1,000 per month, you can apply for pensioner residency. Similarly, if you own a licensed business that employs Costa Ricans, you can apply for residency. Or, if you deposit $60,000 in the banking system, you can apply for “rentista” residency.

A lawyer can help you with this or you can negotiate the paperwork yourself.

Is there corruption?
This is Central fucking America, of course there’s corruption. Where you live there’s corruption too, dontcha know? Heck, you have to grease palms in the Hamptons to get things done. The level of corruption you’ll encounter here is more than Stateside and less than, say, Nicaragua. More like France or Italy.

Is there electricity?
Yes, electricity came to Pavones a few years ago, and ICE is pretty efficient at hooking up new homes. We run and maintain our own lines. The people who live back in the hills are off the grid and power off solar panels or generators.

Is there phone service?
Yes. Phone service has finally come to our little town of Rio Claro de Pavones (which translates into “clear river” in the area of “large turkeys”). Our plateau has a clear signal to the cellular tower in Golfito 40 kilometers away, and we can call locally and internationally. Some of our friends in other parts of the bahia have to go to the beach with their cell phone. (Guess that doesn’t sound too bad.) A landline phone station is under construction, which means that service can’t be far off.

What about Internet access?
Got that too. “Pedro in Golfito” rigged our cell phone to work as an Internet modem, and it’s almost like being in the states on a dial-up connection. We can read and send e-mails…slowly. We can surf the web…slowly. No, it doesn’t always work. Before dawn and clear days are the best times.

What do I do for water?
Water systems are relatively simple and inexpensive to build in Pavones. One could access the clean potable water directly from one of many small rivers or dig a well, both of which will take you through the dry season. We also collect rainwater from the roof. Some peripheral areas are drier, so the pump runs farther or the well is deeper. If you visit we’ll show you how easy it all is.

What are the seasons like?
Summer – the so-called dry season – starts in early December with clear skies and bright sun, plus the occasional shower. Late February and early March are the warmest months, when we’ll seek shelter from the mid-day sun. Summer lasts until May, when the afternoon showers get longer and winter, the rainy season, rolls in. Invierno is marked by afternoon or evening showers and continues steadily until October, when the rains are more frequent. The best part of invierno is that there are more waves for me, since the tourist surfers are scared off by rumors of monsoon-like weather.

Pavones has its own micro-climates, and the rainy season in the entire Pavones area is not severe like it can be in northern parts of Costa Rica. Most days, the temperature here is between 75 and 90 degrees Farenheit and there’s an afternoon breeze. The hot-hot or wet-wet days are the small minority.

When do the best swells arrive?
The surf here is consistent, almost always something rideable. We like our south swells. Generally, December and January are slowest (the months of the doldrums of the southern hemisphere summer) then activity climbs from there and stays strong through September and October. As I write, we’re into November and the surf has been great for the past month.

Where should I surf in Costa Rica?
I don’t know.

How do I get to Pavones?
HA. You lose two turns.

If you can’t figure out how to get to the end of the road, it’s probably not for you anyway. Even to visit.

Okay. Having gotten that off my chest: Fly to San Jose, rent a car, preferably a 4x4, and make the 8 hour or so drive south. The coast road is best. Or fly Sansa from San Jose to Golfito and take a taxi (about $40) to Pavones – good luck in getting your board on the Sansa puddle jumper (forget anything over 7 feet). Or bus it from San Jose.

Or levitate your ass here if you want to impress me.

I’m coming for a visit, where should I stay?
I thought long and hard before answering this, knowing that if you can’t figure that out, you may as well not come. Lisa talked me into this as a way to help some friends that run good shows.

Cabinas Carol always gets good reviews. No reservations, just show up. Maybe $10 a night, she’s thought of everything you need, including in-room board storage and a community kitchen. Most of her showers overlook the rainforest. Carol’s place is conveniently located in the pueblo (left at the Cantina, another left at the end of the soccer field). If she’s booked, continue down that path to the cabinas of Cazas Olas (John, my web guru, stayed here a couple years ago and enjoyed it).

Going up the scale of amenities and prices…

Just outside of town in an idyllic setting is Mira Olas, run by my friends Lilly and Paul. Count on $35 a night or so for a private cabin with your own kitchen Mira Olas has great views and nice grounds. Also good is Cabinas La Ponderosa, run by three surfers, Marshall, Angela and Brian, where $40 includes your meals. Siempre Domingo, run by Gregg and Heidi, has lots of amenities and is downright beautiful, about $100 a night. The Tiskita Rainforest Lodge is a high-end nature resort, $300 a night Peter will fly you to Pavones on his private plane for an added fee.

These are approximate prices, don’t call them saying Allan wrote it was cheaper. You’ll be comfortable at any one of these places.

Best is to just show up and look around for what suits you.

Do I need a car?
No, not if you travel well, can endure long, crowded bus rides and can get by in Spanish. Best to rent a 4x4. If you want the best rental rates, either reserve ahead of your arrival or spend a day in San Jose negotiating with the local companies that rent older or cheaper cars. I don’t know of any car rental agencies in Golfito.

Can I rent a surfboard in Pavones?
Yes, Alex at The Sea Kings surf shop has a quiver of boards to rent, including longboards. Alex is located across the street from the cantina. Alex’s wife Amy gives yoga classes in an oceanfront studio, by the way.

When will Sean Penn’s movie version of In Search of Captain Zero be out?
Don’t get me started.

 

More About Can't You Get Along With Anyone?

• Overview
• Reviews
• Excerpt: Part 6, Chapter 1
• Excerpt: Part 5, Chapter 1
• A Day in the Life of Pavones
• DailyPics from Down South
• My Lost Paradise

My Books

• Can't You Get Along With Anyone?
• In Search of Captain Zero
• Cosmic Banditos

 

Recent Site Additions

• US Edition of Can't You Get Along With Anyone? Coming October 1! (08/13/2007)
• Bandito Books (05/14/2007)
• It Appears I've Hit the Big Time... (04/11/2007)
• HUYA Syndrome, and Then Some... (03/05/2007)