Can't You Get Along With Anyone? A Writer's Memoir
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Can't You Get Along With Anyone? A Writer's Memoir and a Tale of a Lost Surfer's Paradise
Those of you who have been with me since the publication of In Search of Captain Zero, the republication of Cosmic Banditos, and the concomitant formation of my website/newsletter know that I put a lot of myself into my writing: the books themselves and the messages (which I’ll continue to call my Down South Perspectives, even though I’m no longer down south, in paradise – you can take the boy out of paradise, etc.).
For the past three years (four, really, counting my Down South murder investigation from 1998) I’ve been struggling over my new book, Can’t You Get Along With Anyone? A Writer's Memoir, and a Tale of a Lost Surfer's Paradise.
It’s done, written, the last hit to the period key a fait accompli, four crashed laptops put to rest, two thefts of back up CDs of the work-in-progress perpetrated by one of the people (one among many) who greatly fears my words; I’ve twice gone on the run, once from phantoms, once not so; I’ve been bewitched, bothered, bewildered, and wholly be-fucking-trayed.
And that’s just in the writing. Living the events was really relentless.
“In waiting for a wave, in sitting out there between sets, bad thoughts, obsessive thoughts, will surface, but while actually riding, while standing up and searching for that rhythm, no matter how godawful the day I’m having, my mind is clean and clear and blank and therefore content. I have never, not ever, had a conscious thought, good, bad or indifferent, while in the act of riding a wave. On this day I needed that purity, that vacuum.
For the first time in my life I armed myself for a trip to the beach.”
From Can’t You Get Along With Anyone? A Writer's Memoir, and a Tale of a
Lost Surfers' Paradise.
More stuff:
Why a UK publisher? What about my home country, the good old U.S. of A? Why am I not in print here first, with my old publisher? Click here for a chapter excerpt on this subject, but the short answer is that I’m a persona non grata in U.S. publishing (plus the movie business).
But hold on. Why is this? Why am I a persona non grata in U.S. publishing and the movie business?
Has to do with the demented editor I was subjected to in getting In Search of Captain Zero into print, and the attempts by people in both businesses to discredit me and my new book, i.e., fear of exposure.
Which reminds me: Where did I get the title?
“Can’t you get along with anyone?” was the body of the email I received from my Hollywood movie writing agent in response to my email firing her for her behavior during the Zero movie deal debacle.
While I’m at it:
Why did Sean Penn wish me “something resembling death”?
Because, in short, Sean Penn, who co-optioned Zero for the movies, has his head up his ass.
Why did I physically threaten John Cusack?
A misunderstanding.
Why did Cusack subsequently offer me the job of adapting Cosmic Banditos for the screen?
We both realized there’d been a misunderstanding -- based in the dishonesty of a showbiz lawyer; we shared a knowing laugh at the symmetry of that.
How did I “extort” hundreds of thousands of dollars from the Hollywood movie machine, and why do I feel no guilt about having done so?
Has to do with Brad Pitt and the following possible Variety headline regarding who would play me in the movie version of Zero: PITT PLUS PENN PUGILIZE PURSUING PAL PIC PART!
Who is The Facilitator and how did he get the ear-to-ear scar across his throat?
Has to do with why I looked up his “understudy” -- in a border town whorehouse where I got semi-raped by an alpha whore in 1998 while investigating a double murder – in order to have someone’s face rearranged.
Why did “the most dangerous man in Pavones” threaten to run me out of town and how did that connect to an ex-mercenary to whom I showed unmotivated kindness after he lost his grubstake because of Bush’s bogus war on terror?
A lot of reasons, some having to do with the Big Fish in a Little Pond Syndrome, which in turn is related to his aggravation over my superior nose-riding abilities.
What do I mean by my “O.K. Corral extravaganza”?
Has to do with my next door neighbor in paradise – an asshole who doesn’t even surf – and something he did in my house while I was in the States researching The Meaning of Life by interviewing a theoretical physicist who seeks to understand God through looking into first causes and playing jazz music on the saxophone.
Who is The Waterman Who Would Be King and why did he turn on me after I put my ass on the line for him?
A piece of hard-earned advice in place of an answer: Be on the lookout for treachery from a jailbird egomaniac facing his comeuppance.
How did Mom help me get through it all, four years after her death?
Has to do with a dream Mom had while I was on a sinking ship in the North Atlantic in 1978 and a miracle that transpired that night, plus maybe the prophetic words, “The man who was born to hang need not fear the water”.
Why was the love of my life telling my friends in paradise that I was going mad?
A better question: Who was the guy who came to our hotel room in San Jose asking if she “has a blood type” while we thought my life was in danger via a hired killer?
Why do I say my forehead sometimes bleeds while I’m writing?
The answer to this one should be obvious by now.
And finally:
How did the aforementioned double murder from eight years ago,
which I solved at risk to my life, come back to haunt
me in a way I not only could not have foreseen, but could
not have made up in my wildest fiction dreams?
Can’t You Get Along With Anyone? A Writer's Memoir, and a Tale of a Lost Surfer’s Paradise asks these questions and, I believe, really answers them; answers them in a way that will entertain you, make you laugh, maybe make you cry, and maybe enlighten you about the dream of paradise, and the various ways that that dream can be lost. It may even change your way of looking at the world. This is my hope, and how high I set the bar on this one.
Please read my book.
If you haven’t already, subscribe to my newsletter (it’s free) and I’ll be in touch. (You bet I will.)
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More About Can't You Get Along With Anyone?
My Books
Recent Site Additions
- US Edition of Can't You Get Along With Anyone? Coming October 1! (08/13/2007)
- Bandito Books (05/14/2007)
- It Appears I've Hit the Big Time... (04/11/2007)
- HUYA Syndrome, and Then Some... (03/05/2007)
In Search of Captain Zero
Bruce Brown (Endless Summer) says "In Search of Captain Zero is a dead-on and beautifully evocative portrait of a lifestyle like no other on earth...."(tell me more)
Cosmic Banditos
My first book, about which Booklist says, "Outrageous…An absurd and highly entertaining comic romp..."(tell me more)
Can't You Get Along With Anyone?
My newest book, A Writer's Memoir, and a Tale of a Lost Surfer's Paradise...(tell me more)
(read reviews)